Hello, my lovely reader!
Today’s blog post is on something EVERYONE, especially me, worries over. The thoughts of other people. The opinions of other people, and more importantly, the validation that everyone seeks.
So … why do we actually care what other people think?
Inherently, I believe it is because of our history. Way back … when we used to live in a tribe and hunt, the mentality was to always seek approval in order to be accepted. If you were different or went against the rules, then basically you were stranded.
I do think this has carried on over time, only now, it has become something that has been damaging and slowly stripping up our confidence to be a unique individual. Granted you have to follow certain social rules, but as a person, you are bound to no-one!
If you check out my story, you will know that I completely went against the norm, and decided to go on my own life path. Did that make me a freak? Sure did! Everyone in my close proximity was shocked … some are still confused. Did it matter what they thought? Of course! Not everyone, but I relied on my parents and friends support.
BUT, when I let go of the fear and kept believing in myself, I got happier and more confident! We seek approval only if we are uncertain, or scared or need someone else to believe in us. And what do we do? We keep asking! Asking for support … asking for validation!
STOP! I’m serious. Stop. Do not ask for feedback unless you are completely comfortable with yourself and will get an honest critic and not a biased opinion.
The moment you believe in yourself, you will learn what is and isn’t right for you over time. And even if you do go wrong, you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself! You won’t be a bitter person who didn’t go after what you want, but a wise one.
I’m not saying you should be selfish. People will think, they will say. It might come from a good place, but don’t let it affect or doubt you in any way. You can’t control what others say or do, but you can control your thoughts and your reactions.
Just because you have faith in yourself, doesn’t mean others will. Don’t be petty or rude, but definitely be the bigger person, AND keep in mind, ‘in through one ear, out through the other’.
Comment below if you too have been the victim of self-sabotage by always asking for feedback, and then overthinking what others say or have said about you. Let’s keep the discussion going!